The Worst Wizard Of Oz Parody EVER!
by Onna Shi Senhi
Summary: Overly used plot? Probably. Do I care? No.


Dorothy: Marik  
Scarecrow: Bakura (he's drunk)  
Tim Man: Yami (he's hungover)  
Lion: Yami Malik (suprisingly,he's sober)  
Wicked Witch: Mai  
Good Witch: Anzu  
Professor Guy: Shadi  
  
Various other roles will be played with various other characters (so if a character you like   
isn't up there you'll find them somewhere else in the chapter)But really it doesn't matter.  
Trust me,it doesn't...  
  
Marik: ... Why am I a girl...-.-  
  
Oss: Cause you dress like one.  
  
Marik: You're doing this to piss me off aren't you-  
  
Oss: ONWARD!

* * *

**One fine day in the land of makebelive(**Marik:Wtf? Oss:(shrugs)) **Mai was screaming at Marik cause his yami was by her bathroom window**  
  
Marik: (_walking from somewhere to his house_) STUPID BITCH! (_shakes fist_)  
  
Mai: KEEP AWAY FROM MY BATHROOM WINDOW YOU CREEP!  
  
Malik: That wasn't me,it was my Yami! (_hit in head with random object_) . Ow...  
(_muttering_) Damn witch...  
  
(Yami) Malik:(_standing in doorway laughing_)  
  
Marik: WHAT WERE YOU DOING BY HER WINDOW!?  
  
Y.Malik: What do you think? I was watching her-  
  
Marik: (_puts hand up to silence him_) Forget. I. Asked...  
  
Bakura: (_runs over to meet both of them_) Hey! Look what I found! (_shakes bottle of whisky   
around_)  
  
Y.Malik: YAY!  
  
Marik: Why are you here?! AND WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?! Isis threw out any alcoholic drinks we had.  
  
Bakura: (_shrugs_) I found it hidden in the closet!   
  
Yami: (_runs out of house wearing nothing but boxers_) Who the hell took my whisky?!!?!  
  
Marik: (_stares in horror_) O.O Everything is spinning....  
  
Bakura & Y.Malik: BWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Yami: (_notices he's half naked_) Woops...  
  
Marik: PHAROAH WHAT THE F-CK ARE YOU DOING HALF NAKED IN MY HOUSE?!  
  
Isis: (_from somewhere inside_) (_in sort of singing voice_) Yamiiiiii? Where are yoooooou?  
  
Marik: OO (_taking deep breaths_)  
  
Bakura & Y.Malik: (_laughing even harder_)  
  
Yami: Uhh...excuse me-(_runs inside_)  
  
Marik: o.- (_grabs whisky ands walks away_)  
  
Bakura: Hey! Gimme that back!  
  
**Marik is just walking around at random  
**  
Marik: (_chugs whisky_) Ugh...(_looks at shop which has a sign on the door that says "Fortune Telling_")  
  
Marik: (_sighs_) Why not...(_wobbles slightly whiel walking in_)  
  
**Inside store thingy  
**  
Marik: (_hic_) Wow...everything's (_hic)_ All old looking...(_hic)  
_  
Shadi: to have your fortune told?  
  
Marik: Shadi? (_hic_) Is zat you?  
  
Shadi: O.o Crap.  
  
Marik: Ooh...(_hic_) So this is your day job...  
  
Shadi: Alive or dead,I need money just like anyone else.(A/N:He's like,dead right?)So you want   
your fortune told or what?  
  
Marik:(_ hic_) Last time you told me something about (_hic_) my future,it scared me(_hic_)   
  
shitless.But(_hic_) I am smahed...  
  
Shadi: You're drunk?!  
  
Marik: what (_hic_) did I just say? (_hic_)  
  
Shadi: (_sigh_) Okay,just don't puke on anything...  
  
Marik: No promises...(_wobbles_)  
  
Shadi: -.-  
  
**Shadi is reading tarot cards for Marik in some room  
**  
Marik:( _looks strangely focused on what the cards say_)  
  
Shadi: Hn...this card singifies new life...  
  
Marik: New life?  
  
Shadi: (_nods_) Yes.Like a relationship...  
  
Marik: .... .   
  
Shadi: This one signifies...hope.  
  
Marik: I'm hoping for a lot right now...  
  
Shadi: I don't even want to know...  
  
Marik: Yeah,yeah,get on with it before I pass out...(_chugs whisky_)  
  
Shadi: Uhh...this one signifies an adventure...or the need to develop adventurous qualities!  
  
Marik: Adventure? Yeah,court should be an adventure when the sexual harrasment suits stat coming in...(chugs agian)  
  
Shadi: O.O You have issues...  
  
Marik: So? You don't know me!  
  
Shadi: Yes I do.  
  
Marik: Oh, right...well whatever,It's my Yami's fault.And these pieces of paprer don't know squat...  
  
Shadi: -.- (_mumbles_) Idiot...(_out loud_) Hey,you owe me 10 dollars.  
  
Marik: Wha-? Crap...uhhh...do you accept alcohol?  
  
Shadi: ...(_shifty eyes_)Yes...( _accepts whisky_)  
  
**Outside the room thing  
**  
Marik: (_sees bottle that looks like his previous whisky bottle_) Hey,I found more! (_picks   
it up and smells it)_ . Ugh... Woah...this is like getting high times 20! (_wobbles out of store_)  
  
**Outside  
**  
Marik: (_sigh_) Man I feel weird...And everything's spinning agian...(_manages to somehow make it to his house_)  
  
**His house**  
  
Isis: (_about to go upstairs_) Marik!? o.O  
  
Marik: _(stare_) Who else? (_also about to go upstairs_)  
  
Isis: Uhh-(_blocks him off_ )Why don't you go find Bakura and your Yami!   
  
Marik: He's up there isn't he.  
  
Isis: (_nervously_) Why,whoever do you mean? (_fake grin_)  
  
Marik: (_blank stare_)  
  
Isis: (_snaps_) JUST GET OUT! (_quicky shoves him out the door and locks it)_  
  
Marik: (_outside_) I hate my life ... (_takes more of that stuff he found in Shadi's store)_   
Spinning....#.  
  
Bakura: (_comes out of nowhere_) WHERE'S MY WHISKY!?  
  
Marik: I gave it to someone,but this stuff is even better! (_forces it down Bakura's throat_)  
  
Bakura: -.o Wow...HEY MALIK!  
  
Y.Malik: Wha?  
  
Bakura: (_forces it down his throat_)  
  
Y.Malik: Woah...THIS IS GOOD! Let's go do something!  
  
Yami: (_from window in house_) WOULD YOU THREE SHUT UP!  
  
Marik: Psh.Bastard...  
  
Bakura: (_nodnod_) Let's go hurt him!  
  
Y.Malik: Uhh...can we go blow something up?  
  
Bakura: Wuss...  
  
Marik: Baka,the door's locked.  
  
Bakura: (_shrug_) Okay let's go blow something up!  
  
**A few hours later  
**  
Marik,Bakura,and Y.Malik: (_burst into the house in a drunken stuper_) SOME WHEEEEEEEEERE OVER THE RAIIIIINBOW!!!!!!!!  
  
Isis:(_sitting on a couch_) (_stare)_   
  
Yami: (_next to Isis_) What the hell...?  
  
Marik: Hiya sister! (_wobbles_) (_sees yami_)  
  
Yami: o.o Shit.  
  
Isis: WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE OUT ALL NIGHT? (_false cheer_)  
  
Bakura: We were.It's 5:00 AM.  
  
Isis: What?  
  
Y.Malik: Thas okayyyy! We'll go bagh owt! (_wobbles_)  
  
Isis: NO!   
  
**All three leave**  
  
Isis: Crap....  
  
**Outside  
**  
Marik: I feel sick...(_wobbles_)  
  
Bakura: C'mon! Tough it out! (_whacks Marik on the back_)  
  
Marik: x.x (_passes out_)  
  
**silence  
**  
Y.Malik: RETARD! (whaps Bakura)  
  
**When Marik wakes up**  
  
Marik: Ugh What h-(_notices he's in some sort of bright colorful town type place with   
swirly patterns on everything_)This must be hell. I died,didn't I...  
  
Random Bush: (_giggles_)  
  
Marik: O.o?  
  
Random Bush:(_giggle_)  
  
Marik: Riiiight...Hey,what happened to the rod? I HAD IT WHEN I PASSED OUT! (_notices a bright pink bubble coming twords him_)shitshitshitshitshit....(_bubble turns into a person_)  
  
Anzu:(Who was the bubble)(_dressed up in a poofy pink dress with wings and a wand_) Hello!   
Marik: ...Anzu,cut the crap,what's going on?  
  
Anzu: (_suprised_) Hmm...you know my name already?What a smart girl!  
  
Marik: GIRL!? (_fumes_) I'm a GUY thank you! And my name is Marik!  
  
Anzu: Really? Wow.I've never met a man with such nice hair.Except maybe Ryou but he doesn't exactly count...  
  
Marik: Stop playing stupid,you know me,I know you.I tried to kill Yugi,remember?  
  
Anzu: No.I see Yugi every day,but I've never seen you!  
  
Marik: ...  
  
Anzu: Anyway,the chibis have a question for you!  
  
Marik: The what.  
  
Anzu: (_points to bush_)  
  
Bush: (_has Yugi,Joey,Rebecca,and Serenity's heads sticking out of it,but they look much smaller and they're eyes are bigger_) tee-hee!  
  
Marik: Uh-huh. Dare I ask what the question might be?  
  
Anzu: Are you good witch,or a bad witch?  
  
Marik: ... First off,I'm not a witch. Secondly,I'd probably be a bad witch.  
  
Anzu: (_gasps_) You're a bad witch!?  
  
Marik: I'm not a witch at all!  
  
Anzu: Ohh...  
  
Marik: Now where the hell is my rod?  
  
Anzu: If you mean that pointy,golden object,which fell right before you did,it's over there!   
(_points to Mill.rod which is stuck in Kaiba's chest_)  
  
Marik: HA! I killed the big-bad CEO guy without even trying! Waitaminute,I FELL!?  
  
Anzu: Yes,and the chibi's would like to thank you! It's okay chibi's! Come out!  
  
(**random chibi's come out of hiding spots**)  
  
Marik: This is horribly wrong...  
  
(**chibis start dancing)**  
  
Marik: Wrong...  
  
Solomon Chibi(Yugi's Grandpa): WAIT!   
  
(**chibis stop dancing and turn to listen**)  
  
Solomon: How do we know if he's really dead?!  
  
Kaiba: x.x  
  
Rex (Raptor) Chibi: (_rolls eyes)_ I can't IMAGINE why we would,but _I'll_ check...(_walks over   
and does so_) Yup,he's dead.  
  
Chibis: YAY!  
  
Marik: They're cute in a spooky way...  
  
Anzu: It seems as though they would like to reward you!  
  
Marik: Woopie.  
  
Joey,Dike,and Tristan Chibis come out of the crowd: We are the lollipop guild!  
  
Marik: (_twitch_) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Joey: Are you laughing at our size?!  
  
Marik: (_wiping away tears_) HARDLY!  
  
Joey and Tristan: (_kick him)_  
  
Duke: (_throws dice at his eye_)  
  
Marik: OW! (_mumble)_  
  
Anzu: Please don't insult the Chibis!  
  
Marik: (_under his breath_) stupid little devil-sent ...  
  
**(Serenity,Rebecca,and Ryou Chibis come out in pink tutu's**)  
  
Serenity,Rebecca,& Ryou: We are the lullibye leauge!  
  
Marik: (_holding back laughter_) W-why is Ryou in a tutu?  
  
Anzu: (_whispers_) He likes wearing dresses.We're all a little worried about him...  
  
Serenity,Rebecca,and Ryou: (dancing)  
  
Malik: o.o  
  
Anzu: Aren't they cute?Malik: (_glance_)  
  
Anzu: What?   
  
(**big poof of purple smoke that clears up quickly**)  
  
Mai: (_about 8 feet away from the smoke_) DAMNIT! The guy with the towel on his head said this would work. HOLD ON!  
  
**Few minutes later**  
  
(_another big poof of smoke_)  
  
All: ...  
  
(_smoke still there and not clearing up_)  
  
All: ...  
  
(_smoke still there_)  
  
**30 minutes later  
**  
All: ...  
  
Mai: Oh screw it.(**jumps out from behind the smoke wearing a tight black,strapless shirt,and black mini-skirt**)  
  
All: (_gasp_)  
  
Marik: (stare) No freaking way...  
  
Mai: OHOHOHOHOH!   
  
All: AHHHH!!! (_chibis run for cover_)  
  
Mai: Okay...(_turns to kaiba_) WHO DID IT?! (_turns to Marik_) Was it you!?  
  
Marik: (_pissed off_) And what if it was?  
  
Mai: (_turns red_) If it was I'd shove this broomstick up your-  
  
Anzu: AHEM! Aren't you forgetting the slippers?  
  
Mai: Why,yes! (_smirks and heads to Kiba who is wearing pink sparkly high-heels_) :)   
(_tries to take heels but they vanish_) WHAT THE!? (_turns to Anzu_) What happened to them!?  
  
Anzu: It's too late! They have found a new owner now!(_points to Marik who's wearing the pink heels_)  
  
Marik: (_looks at his feet_) WHAT THE HELL!?  
  
Mai: HEY! GIVE THEM BACK! You're puny mind would never be able to figure out how to use them!  
  
Marik: :O Well just for that I'm keeping them...  
  
Anzu: Be gone witch! You're powers are useless here.So get lost before someone stabs you!  
  
Mai: Fine! But you haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back! OHOHOHOHOHOHHO! (big poof of smoke)  
  
**(smoke clears up and Mai is still running about 4 feet away from it)**  
  
Marik: I thought I killed the damn witch!  
  
Anzu: That was her brother you killed.She's even worse!  
  
Marik: Oh,great...  
  
Anzu: Well,to be continued!  
  
Marik: What?   
  
Anzu: The chapter.It ended.  
  
Marik: Chapter? What the hell do you mean?  
  
**Silence**  
  
Anzu: ... Sh-t. (_runs_)  
  
Marik: ...(_horribly confused)_

* * *

Marik: How come I don't know what's going on?  
  
Anzu: And how come you edit out my swears?  
  
Oss: Marik,I have no idea.I don't live in your head. But Anzu,the good witch never swears!  
  
Anzu: F---,Sh--,Bi---.  
  
Oss: o.o Uhh...I'd like to apologize to Kaiba fangirls cause he died,and if anyone is mad about   
Ryou being put in a tutu.I couldn't resist....(ashamed) -.- But Kaiba comes back!  
  
Marik: What are you doing about Ryou?  
  
Oss: ...

(cough)Anyway,I wasn't going to post this,cause I know it's been done,but I've been writting this since May,it's raining,I'm bored,and my computer is going to explode very soon,so here it is.

Review please?Flames cause forest fires and forest fires killed Bambi.


End file.
